i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
