these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
