yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
