The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
