y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
