Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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