Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
