You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There r osticjed everywhere
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
