So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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