What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize