Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize