yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
