Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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