Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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