Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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