I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
