Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
