I'm lost and stupid without you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
