He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
