I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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