i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
