these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
