I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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