like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
