Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.

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(510): View more from California

Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.

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(914): View more from New York

Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.

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(813): View more from Florida

It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.

(315): View more from New York

That's the best compliment I have ever received.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak

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