My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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