But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
