Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
