Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
