I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
