then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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