that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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