I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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