He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
be right there i have to get my cape
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
