Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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