then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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