I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
