It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
