Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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