i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just forgot I was standing up.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
