so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
