Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
