I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
