Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
