I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
