no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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