Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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