We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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