Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
