just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
