I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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