seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize