I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
