My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
