that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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