She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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