The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
