dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
