i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
