bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
