I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
