There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
