shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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