This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
