We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
