It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
