plz talk dirty to me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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